Second Thoughts
2 Cor 12:7-107 To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. NIV
I have fallen deeply in love with Paul through my years of studying God's word. With all his imperfections and history of sentencing Christians to death for their faith, he is the disciple I can best relate to. Having been saved out my sinful lifestyle and indeed persecuting Christians, Jesus has shown me again and again the depths of His mercy and love.
In counseling some time ago, I complained about how I am. "I never finish anything. I'm never sure of myself. I question everything. I have no patience. I can't stick with anything for very long because of my afflictions."
I was assured that God had created me just as I am. In order for God to accomplish the purposes He's already set forth for my life before I inhaled my first breath, He crafted me just as I am. I'm supposed to be this way!
After taking some sort of personality test, I was relieved to learn that I'm something of a butterfly. I lite for brief moments here and there, getting my fill, collecting some pollen and then flitting off to the next place to distribute, fill, collect...http://www.images.on.ca/JayC/jc_g1index.htm
I did a little research on the butterfly for fun and found this: The blooms that we enjoy with our eyes and noses are also the beacons, landing platforms and launching pads for pollinators. In the process, insects get dusted with pollen, which they carry to other flowers. This, in turn, helps the plants produce seed and reproduce. http://www.zoo.org/bflies_blms/facts.html
Hm, rather simplistic I know, but isn't that a bit like discipleship? First we're fed, then we feed others on the Word of God?
A little off track there. Getting back to the point. Each of us is created uniquely for God's purposes. When I realized it's not only okay but right to be just as I am, I began a sojourn in search of what exactly that means in the life of anne leigh andrews hughes. You see, I've spent so many years trying to be someone else, trying to metamorphis into a different breed of butterfly, that I nearly lost all hope of ever doing anything according to God's plans. And all along my only desire has been to be in His will. Tell me He's not a patient God - I'll give you proof He is...me.
This is a process - and a slow one - lifeling. Just knowing a bit about my own nature, perfectly designed by our Creator, gives me a peace I'd not previously known. Today, I needed to remind myself of this. I'm a butterfly. I have a given purpose and it's not yours but mine. I don't have to be like you. I'm not meant to be like you. You're not meant to be like me. Maybe you're like a bee who's always busy, like a dolphin who likes to play, or a giraffe type person who goes for the higher branches. Whatever it is, it's worthwhile to discover your true nature to help you become the person God intends for His glory.
So now all my questions - about why I was born as I was, into the family I was delivered, why I've done what I've done, suffered as I have, been given the thorns I bear that have not been taken from me - are put to rest. For in my weakness, in my being just as I am, His strength abounds. His purposes are accomplished. If I've made Jesus the copilot, I need to relinquish the controls back to Him.
Father, thank You for creating us each as unique individuals who has something marvelous to contribute to the greate whole for You proposes. Help us today to accept who we are, to seek Your will and to obey for Your glory. May You be blessed by all we do and say in the presence of others for the sake of the gospel. Lord may Your strength manifest itself in our weaknesses; may You increase as we decrease. Thy will be done, in the name of Jesus, amen.
