FaithWalkDaily January 30, 2009
Psalms 5:6 You destroy those who tell lies; bloodthirsty and deceitful men the LORD abhors.
My father was not a very nice man. He oozed charm like Ted Bundy, charisma like Hannibal Lecter, was beguiling like Lucifer. He had an uncanny ability to draw people into his presence and then like the infamous Jekyll/Hyde, he became a monster.
I was very small when my parents divorced and we moved to another state, far from my father's grasp. He made no attempt to visit and my mother didn't even pursue the child support he owed her just to maintain distance. Because I was so young when the break-up occurred, I didn't remember much about my dad and often asked questions. I mostly remembered his goodness, his smile, sparkling blue eyes and cajoling ways. When I would ask my mother why he never called or visited, she would say something like "your father was wounded in the war and never quite recovered. He was a good man who had problems. It's best he doesn't visit."
As an adult, I finally wheedled out most of the truth from her and my siblings, although there were still gaps. Even so, I longed to know him, longed for him to humbly beg forgiveness for the hurt he'd inflicted on my family. That never happened.
I've come to realize my mother did the right thing in answer to my childish questions. There was no need to denigrate this already damaged human being. She need not tell me horror stories or that he was unworthy of our love. In time, his lack of contact and unwillingness to repent, told as much of the story as I needed to hear.
He was about as bloodthirsty and deceitful a human being as ever there was. There was nothing my mother could do or say to punish him because she knew, in the end, he would answer to Almighty God.
I'm not angry anymore and I don't hate the man. I pity him that he lived alone with his dirt and died without love. He had no idea what life could have been like. As one long-term family friend recently put it to me, he refused to concede that a power greater than himself could restore him to sanity.
You destroy those who tell lies; bloodthirsty and deceitful men the LORD abhors. It doesn't much matter what men think of us. The only thing that matters is how we present ourselves to God.
Heavenly Father, it's sad that my earthly father was such a broken man. I truly pity him. Thank You that we all have a second chance, that You're a God of mercy and love, and that when we repent, the blood of Jesus covers all our sin. Thank You Jesus for paying the price for me and all who are seek the kingdom of God. Thank You Holy Spirit for guiding my way and keeping me on the path of righteousness. Be my strength and my light today. In Jesus' name, amen.
